Sabrina Markes - My home in cyberspace

Shopping for clothes...

When I first started shopping for feminine clothing, in my early teensI spent hours going through the Sears and Eatons catalogues, taking measurements and figuring out what size I was. Since what I was doing was my "secret", how would I order anything, where would I have it delivered, go to the store, and all those things were going through my mind. I'm a guy!! Guys don't buy this stuff, or as society says, goes through my mind. Yet my mind still said "yes you want to wear these pretty clothes."

I would walk around for hours looking at all the pretty clothes in the stores, and always from half way across the building. I didn't want anyone to see me looking at what I really wanted to buy. And for this reason, I would take a bus to the mall on the other side of the city, so no one I knew would see me buying girl clothes. Heck, at that age, I didn't even buy my own guy-clothes<LOL>

The first outfit I bought was a denim skirt, a denim vest, and blouse. It was all one set and was nothing I planed to buy, just something I spotted on a mannequin one day. I thought, great, now I only have to buy one thing to get the whole outfit rather than having to shop for lots of things. I stalked that outfit and the racks from a distance for a long time, over a period of a few days as I recall, before I even walked up to the rack. In my mind, I felt that as soon as I started to go through with the purchase, the clerk would know right away that I was buying it for me!! When I finally got up the courage to got to the rack and find what I thought was my size, I took the outfit to the counter and before the clerk could say a word I blurted out that it was a present for "MY SISTER!" I got it out of the store and when I got home, still had to wait a long time before I had the house to myself and could try it on. When I did, I found it was way too big, which was OK as I would grow into it<LOL>

Since then, my shopping was pretty much the same way. I'd Only buy what I could see displayed, and only then if I could find my size fast enough, before the clerks would stop to help! If I couldn't find something in less than a minute, I was outta there fast!! I wound up buying things that were too tight, too loose, too short or long, and other stuff that I never wanted in the first place but bought because it was "female" clothes. As the years went on, I started spending a little more time in the stores, and did start speaking to the clerks. I always use the "for my sister" phase and yet was always nervous to the point of dripping wet with sweat feeling like the clerk always knew the stuff was for me. The clerks would start asking questions like "what size is she", "how tall is she", or "what colors does she like". I'd get real nervous then and I'm sure it came though in my answers. I would get out of the store quick saying things like I'd have to go find out or things like that.

Buying makeup had never been a problem for me until the last several years. My family owned a store which among it's wares was makeup and hose. The store closed and after my "supply" ran out, I was forced to look elsewhere. Safeway, a large grocery chain, carries makeup and hosiery, so when I did the grocery shopping, again on the other side of town, I would quickly grab what I needed and stash it at the bottom of the cart. Then for the time the clerk rung up the sale, I'd get nervous until the stuff was out of sight in the bag.

I can't explain why I was always nervous about shopping. And yet, when I did go into a store really shopping for my sister or a girlfriend, I could buy whatever I wanted without any nervous feelings. Even when buying clothes that were my size!!

Over the years, in an attempt to avoid the clerk's suspicion, I would only buy my clothes at Christmas time, when I felt the sister excuse would work. I was always nervous about it though. When it came to buying things like garter belts, stockings and corsets, I'd always wait until Valentine's to make those purchases :-)

Those experiences were in the beginning. I'm having whole new experiences buying New Clothes.