Something
that I have wanted to experience for so long, and have tried to do so many
times but always chickened out at the last minute, is to visit a mall en fem.
I had always got all dressed up, found parking at the mall, got as far as
the doors or people, then would turn and get out of there fast!! I'm really
not sure why this desire has always been so strong, and believe it is wanting
to experience the world away from the mirror when dressed in female clothing.
On Wednesday, February 21, 2001, I was leaving on a business trip shortly after noon, and was travelling en fem, something I realy like to do. I had no intentions to visit the mall when I dressed, and was wearing a short black skirt, black tights, a wine turtleneck, shoes with a wide high heel (about 2 3/4 inches) and was wearing a new jacket that covered most of my skirt. I was very happy with my makeup, felt really comfortable with my appearance, and felt so wonderful as I started on my journey. As I passed Polo Park, one of Winnipeg's largest malls, I got the incredible urge make the attempt to enter the building. I knew I was a little over dressed for the mall, but not much different than many GG's I've seen there, and also knew I did not have much time due to a commitment at the end of my journey.
I parked in the lot, and after about ten minutes of hesitating, got out of the vehicle and walked straight to the building. As a "security blanket", I left my sunglasses on and this time felt really different. Athough I was very nervous and shaking, I made it all the way to the building and without any hesitation, opened the doors and walked right inside!! Believe me, from under the sunglasses, I was watching everyone as I walked through the mall toward the center. As I began noticing that no one had been staring at me, and in fact that no one seemed to pay any attention to me at all, all those nervous feelings seemed to be drained from me and I felt an unussual calmness as I stopped in the center and looked around.
I stood for a moment and looked around at people passing by. I almost felt like I was invisible!! No one seemed to notice me, standing in a mall I've been in lots of times, and standing there in a mini skirt and high heels!!! So many times before, I always pictured me walking into a mall and having everyone I passed turn and stare at me as I kept walking. None of that happened and I felt like I could spend the afternoon there. It truley felt like the woman inside me was standing there and my guy-self didn't even exsist!!
I left after a few minutes and returned to my vehicle to continue on my trip so I wouldn't be late for my comitment and felt so wonderful. I even stopped at a bank to use the bank machine while the bank was open, and had to wait in line a moment. no one seemed to notice. I have done my banking at machines while en fem in the past, but always when the bank itself was closed and no one was around.
I found my inspiration to venture out into public after visiting http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Stonewall/8505/tips_grad.html . I read this story over and over again, dreaming of the day.
Thanks for reading my story,
Sabrina
E-mail me at sabrina_markes@masquerade.ca
Member of the Winnipeg support group - "Masquerade"