Reaching Out - October 2000.....
I had been visiting TG Gallery (Debbie's Den), now TG Chat, anonymously, for a little while, and had been visiting lots of links to web sites. I found my way into Suzie's web site. Suzie wrote about her experiences at Southern Comfort Convention. I really started to believe there other people in this world, like myself, and made a note of her e-mail address.
It still took me a while to get up enough courage to write to Suzie. I had never talked about this part of my life with anyone, and yet there I was, getting ready to write to a total stranger. I had kept my dressing a secret for so many years, a secret which I feel had created a lot of stress in my life. Yet, here was my chance to let someone know that I existed. But how do I do it? What if my SO saw the mail? So many fears going through my head. I wanted to reach out, yet I wanted to stay hidden. I went through periods of thinking it was a stupid idea, with all the guilt talking to me, to wanting to talk to someone so badly and finaly let go of my secret!
One evening when I had the house to myself, I went on-line and set up a Hotmail e-mail account, then tested it to make sure it worked. It looked realy strange seeing my name on the screen like that. But now that I look back, it was just one more step in a whole lot of them that mean the feminine side of me is very real. It was still a few days before I got up the nerve to write and once I Finally hit the send button, it was out of my hands. I felt a tremendous relief that I was finally doing something about my questions, yet was still very nervous in waiting for an answer. What would she say? Etc. I'm so glad I wrote to Suzie, who wrote back a short while later with lots of encouragement and support.
Prior to reaching out, I had no one to talk to about my feminine side. No one with whom I could talk to to ask a question, share an experience with, or even tell about something exciting that was happening in my life as far as dressing was concerned. A whole new world is opening up for me. There are lots of wonderful people at TG Chat, and I've made new friends to share my feminine side with. I'm almost 40, and I feel like my life is just beginning!
For anyone reading this page, if you have never reached out to anyone, the world is full of wonderful people just like you!!
Thanks for reading my story,
Sabrina
E-mail me at sabrina_markes@masquerade.ca
Member of the Winnipeg support group - "Masquerade"