Sabrina - "Dining Out in The Pas, Manitoba" - Saturday, April 23, 2005
Up
until 2000 I had always spent my evenings en fem when away on business
trips, yet still kept to myself thinking I'd never be able to go anywhere
even though I liked what I saw in the mirror. Meeting the girls in TG
Chat and then making so many friends at Masquerade changed all that! Giving
me the confidence I needed to simply have fun being ME!.
After having so much fun going out as Sabrina in Flin Flon I certainly was looking forward to an evening out as Sabrina in The Pas, Manitoba. The Pas is a small pulp town about a six hour drive north of Winnipeg and yes, it is in the middle of "wilderness". On Saturday, April 23, 2005, I was lucky enough to be done work early enough to give me lots of time for the evening.
Getting ready to go out is so much different for me know than it was before I started venturing out into the real world. Back when I'd be locked away in my hotel room, freaking out at any sound near the door, thinking what I was doing was WRONG. Yet always dreaming of a day when I could just walk out into the sunlight! "Why am I doing this" I kept thinking. Now I've learned...It's simply me being me!
By 8:00 PM I was ready for my adventure wearing a red sweater, black tights, black high heeled boots and a black leather mini skirt of course! I didn't know of any significant landmarks where I could get a pic of me in The Pas, so I stopped on Fisher Street, which is kinda like the towns "Main Street", and set my camera on the ledge by the post office. I used the self time so could get a pic of me standing on the main drag (forgive the pun) of The Pas, Manitoba!
Now it was time for dinner! I have been out many times alone on shopping trips but when it comes to going out for dinner it has always been with my girlfriends from Masquerade, girlfriends I have who are visiting from out of town, or my two dates (Thanks Foot Lover & Dave). But I had yet to go out ALONE! So this would be a first for me! And I wanted it to be a nice place, not McDonalds or A & W! So I chose the restaurant that is located inside the Kikiwak Inn. The Kikiwak Inn is a very nice hotel which is located on the indian reserve across the Saskatchewan River from The Pas. And a very high class place at that. Which was good, because I'm a HIGH CLASS kinda girl!
Going
out in Winnipeg is one thing, since I know most of the places that I go,
yet going out alone, in a small and strange town, to places I've
never been, is such a cool experience. I enjoyed feeling the
cool evening air on my legs as I walked through
the
parking
lot entered
the
inn. My first thought was "I have to get a picture in front of the fireplace!"
I met the waitress inside the restaurant and was shown to a booth along
the wall. The restaurant wasn't too busy yet there were several other tables
where people were sitting at. The waitress took my drink order, which was
a Diet-Pepsi, and left me with a menu to browse through. Sitting there
with so many people around and although I feel I am well beyond worrying
about what people think, it still amazes me just how much people seem to
accept me wherever I go.
I ordered the lemon chicken dish and enjoyed sitting there, a girl out alone in a strange town, and out for a nice dinner at a nice restaurant, with so many nice people too! It just felt so natural, to be sitting there in my leather mini skirt, feeling so happy with myself. Plus it gave me time to browse through the spring issue of People Extra "Stylewatch". With some forethought I brought the magazine since I knew I'd be alone with no one to talk with! People walking by, staff, patrons, and no bad feelings at all!!! The lemon chicken was delicious and the atmosphere terrific. A young couple came in and were shown to a table right near the fireplace. How romantic! When I was done with my dinner I asked the waitress if since I was alone could she take a picture of me at the table and she was very happy to do just that! Giving me that wonderful memory to share with here! Of course I tipped her well and as I was leaving she asked where I was from, to which I replied "Winnipeg" and she says "OK, I'm from Winnipeg too. Hope you enjoy your stay here!"
As I walked into the beautiful lobby I passed the fireplace and remembered I wanted a picture! I asked the clerk at the front desk if he could and he asked another staff member on my side of the counter and with a big smile she said "Sure!" I proudly stood in front of the fireplace with a big smile, just a girl happy to be out enjoying life in a skirt and heels!
Sabrina in front of the fireplace in the Kikiwak Inn
On the reserve north of The Pas, Manitoba
When I left the Kikiwak Inn I set up my camera and used the self time to get a pic of me in front of the building!
Sabrina in front of the Kikiwak Inn
On the reserve north of The Pas, Manitoba
Still not wanting my evening out to end, I had to find another adventure to experience so I decided to go to the Aseneskak Casino. The Aseneskak Casino is also located on the indian reserve north of The Pas, Manitoba. Talk about "Going OUT!" It's one thing to go out in broad daylight shopping in a big scity like Winnipeg. But to be a white girl going to a casino on a reserve??? Of course I was excited! Getting my spending limit, $5, out of my purse I walked through the parking lot with my heels clicking loud and proud on the concrete! There were people walking all around the parking lot. Some walking to the casino and some walking from, while others just stood around smoking. I did spot one of the security officers inside the building give his partner a nudge as he looked my way, then both had their eye on me! I knew they weren't concerned about me as a "Security threat!" I was the only girl in a leather mini skirt for a hundred miles! I simply walked past them smiling and saying "Hello" as I walked into the casino. It was such a wild experience. So many people, yet all focused on trying to "Win Back" their money! Me..I had planned to spend $5 max! That was it so with my five dollar bill in had I slowly walked through the casino, checking out the various game tables, looking at the wonderful native art which decorated the walls, and thoroughly enjoyed the looks from the guys. Heck! Looking around the place, I have to admit, I was the sexiest looking girl in the place! (OK, so I'm bias)
Finding a free machine I took a seat on a stool and fed it my five dollar bill, which gave me 100 credits. Playing nickel plays I started playing and just sat there thinking to myself "I can't believe I'm actually sitting here! In the middle of a busy casino on an indian reserve in northern Manitoba! And being ACCEPTED!!!" Anyone reading this, if you've ever dreamed of going out and enjoying life as the girl inside you. Just try it once to know you can! I did manage to win an additional 100+ credits and I thought of just taking the payout, but that would mean "Leaving" and I was having simply too much fun!" Not that I wanted to spend the night feeding money into the machine, just that I didn't want the experience of feeling so accepted while out as I was dressed to end too soon. So I kept playing until I did indeed "loose" the $5! But was I a looser?? No way! I won! I won the wonderful feeling of having so many people accept me as I was presenting myself. A nicely dressed girl out for the evening.
On my way out of the casino I stopped near the entrance to use the pay telephone to call Mary. She was hosting a swap meet party at her place and I was missing it. So this gave me a change to say hello to her and the girls of Masquerade. I talked with Mary, Rhiannon, Shandi, Chantal, and Vanessa, sharing with them my experience of this evening. All while standing ten feet away from the security dude who just wouldn't keep his eyes off my legs! People walking by and me just out doing real things and enjoying life. Since I wasn't able to get a pic inside the casino I stopped in the parking lot and used the self time again! A native woman stopped to talk with me and she was very curious about the camera and how the picture looked. We talked for a bit and she asked where I was from, to which I of course replied! Such a nice woman too! She went into the casino and I walked proudly through the parking lot back to my vehicle and you can bet, I was walking on cloud 9!
Sabrina in front of the Aseneskak Casino
On the reserve north of The Pas, Manitoba
When I arrived back at my hotel, I thought back to all those nights on the road prior to 2001. When my fem time was spent inside the hotel room and my only venturing out was under the cover of darkness. And even then only for a short walk around the block or for a drive in my van. When I could be out without really being out. Without having to face people and worrying about how people would react or treat me. Yet now I have come to realize that I was indeed my own worst enemy. Out of all the times I've been out in the last 4 years. Coming in contact with literally thousands of people. There have only been about 7 or 8 times when it was apparent that "Someone" had a problem with me dressed as I was. And that is the key. THEIR problem! Why should I let half a dozen people hold me back when the rest of the world welcomes me with a smile on their face and a very pleasant "May I help you??" And with that happy thought in mind, I look forward to my next adventure!
However, I must say, I'm going to really have to work hard to top my gal pal Shandi, in her dress and heels, going out to the Cher concert in Winnipeg with her sweetie! You have to read her story - Click Here !!
There has to be a real message here. To "Never Hold Yourself Back" Do what you want to do and enjoy the experience. Yes, the world really is very accepting of us girls!
Thanks for reading my story,
Sabrina
E-mail me at sabrina_markes@masquerade.ca
Member of the Winnipeg support group - "Masquerade"